Thing a Week 44: Sadly Ending Soon

I wish someone would have told me to live my life; but more importantly, I wish I had understood. People have been telling me to live my life, and I thought I was. I didn’t wake up excited every day, but I was usually excited by around noon, and although I sometimes got annoyed with myself for staying up so late at times, I stayed up late doing the most important things in life: the things that I enjoy.

When I first came up with the idea for a literary Thing a Week for this year, I was naive and childish in what I thought it would be like. I thought it would be something easy to do while potentially improving my writing, without much effort or worry. I was wrong. I hadn’t envisioned myself passing through metamorphosis during the year, but it happened. I didn’t think I’d spent so much time planning, plotting, writing, proofing, and rewriting these stories, but it still happened. Countless hours were spent looking up words in dictionaries and thesauruses and occasionally an encyclopedia or two, but it was all worth it in the end to be able to share what I create with those who (even pretend to!) appreciate it.

I probably should have forseen the character changes I would go through during the year. But I didn’t. It’s not every day I’m the subject of a short story, so it’s rare that I’ll try to apply literary mechanics to my life. In this case, it would have applied. Applied—and slightly more. Suddenly I am a character. Suddenly everyone knows only what I have written, and must infer the rest.

My Facebook friends know what’s been going on with me recently. I saw the doctor today and sadly all I can say is that our prayers have not been answered. There are so many people I promised otherwise, but sometimes you just can’t keep a promise. For that, I’m sorry. So many promises are suddenly out of my control. Thing a Week, for example—I promised a year of writing and I can no longer fufill that promise, nor is there enough time to find a suitable replacement. There’s only ten weeks left; I wish I could make it.

Sorry—I’m rambling. I just felt like writing. I felt like I needed to get this all off my chest, you know? To anyone that’s still reading, thank you. Thank you for caring; I would do the same otherwise.

There are a few, special people that I wanted to definitively thank for playing a major role in my life, either in the past or presently. If you’re not on this list, it doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re the coolest person in the universe—I promise, if you’ll accept it.

So, in no particular order,

• Andie: They say that some stay dry while others feel the pain, and our lives are no exception to this fact. I know I can’t make you keep it, but will you promise me you’ll zoom the camera out and see the light? I feel like I’ve been using you to fall back down again as the history quickly came crashing down my veins. From the bottom of my heart, I hope I haven’t been a burden for you or your ark of paradise in win. I know I said that the people here were in no particular order, but you’re on top for a reason. Goodbye.
• Bret: I want to apologize for any jealousy I may have caused you over the years. Although I didn’t always show it, I never wanted to see my little buddy looking down with a frown. The only reason I got more women than you is because they don’t know you like I do. I know you’ve been struggling with it, but know you’ll find some girlie out there someday. You’ve got it going on; don’t forget that. Goodbye.
• Eliza: You were like family to me. Although you traveled all over the world for your nature show, you always had a special place in my heart. I don’t know about you, but I still remember all of the secrets you told me when I visited two years ago. I guess you can say they’ll be in a safe place soon. Thank you for being my something amazing to happen; since meeting you, life’s never been the same.
• Rick: We’ve known each other for so long, I feel like inside we both know what’s been going on. We promised to be best friends forever, but sometimes you have to just give someone up. You know the rules and so do I, but not even the legendary Gamer Twins can find a way to play the game of life. I’ll never desert you; I’m sure we’ll see each other again.
• “Sherlock”: I wish I had a minute to just sit and tell you how my life became so flip-turned upside down, but I don’t. We’ve ruled this town together for long enough; it’s time to pass the crown on. I will pull up to your house around seven or eight on Friday, Nov. 12, 2010, to drop off some stuff. While I’m there, I’d really like to dicuss matters regarding the assets we own in west Philidelphia. It’s so much trouble to write you a small message; I have to see you in person as soon as possible. If you’re still driving that old cab with the dice in the mirror, I think you may be interested in meeting fairly quickly. I hope to see you later, Holmes.

The news is still reeling in my head, so it’s really hard to think right now. I’m sure there are tons of you that I meant to write to but didn’t get to, and I’m so sorry. To everyone not formerly mentioned: thank you for being a part of my life. Without you, I wouldn’t be who I am today.

Thank you,
Andrew Brown
11/07/10